We all have situations and people that make us wonder about our sanity. It seems to hurt more when you see a loved one in a relationship that is so toxic and they are only trying to do the right thing. There is something happening to my step son that just breaks my heart but it also brings back the times in my life I have stuck with someone toxic because I thought I could fix them.
If you find yourself wandering down the streets of Crazy Town or standing on Drama Drama Island, take a minute to inventory the situation. This is a great time to see the patterns that are being repeated by everyone involved. Journaling really helps to clarify your situation and causes you to step back so you can see a different perspective.
Art helps you see things from a different angle as well. The above sculpture is one I did when I was in treatment for my cancer. I did the self portrait without hair because I was about to loose mine with the stem cell transplant so I wanted to prepare myself. Through this project I was able to release the anger I felt about my body betraying me and the pressure I felt to be positive all the time. You can see the conflicting worlds are very visible.
It also resonates with what I feel when I’m in the presence of someone toxic. I can feel my soul start to blister while I try to keep the positive face on. I’m getting better at boundaries and saying no to my travels in Crazy Town because I’m remembering more of my worth. I’m worth more and my time & energy are much more valuable than spending it on toxic situation.
Creating strong reminders of who I am in my art helps to solidify my value and my priorities. As I defined myself in my altered book my self respect grew and my need to fix situations for approval faded. Drama doesn’t have to be in your life. I love something Daniel LaPorte (The Desire Map) blogged about – Build a fence. Respectful, kind, interested, loving people in/////BIG FUCKING FENCE. Meaning build your fence by defining yourself and only letting nurturing people in.
If you do find yourself in Crazy Town or on Drama Drama Island – quickly grab your journal as a life preserver. Write, collage, paint, scribble – whatever. Define Yourself.