Halloween is my favorite time of year so why not have pages in my healing journal that reflect my love of the creepy. Here’s the spread for today – a haunting self discovery page in my healing journal.
“What haunts me” is not about what scares me, it’s about the thoughts and stuff in my past that keeps inching it’s way to the surface. I’m fine for a long time and then the regrets about past partner choices (why couldn’t I see how bad that was going to be?) springs up on a day when I’m celebrating my sons.
The mask image is always interesting for me and can be explored on so many levels. I realize there are still so many layers I can peel back so I reveal more of my authentic self. Will I ever arrive and not have issues to resolve? My programed insecurities that I’m finally starting to challenge, make up several faces of my inner critic.
We all have broken parts of us that scrape against our bones at the most inconvenient moments and tell us that we can’t be whole or even good enough. These actually haunt us like ghosts we can’t see but make their presence know when we’re just starting to relax. They cause us to be on edge and stressed.
The most damage our brokenness does is that it separates us from fully loving who we are. We feel guilty about self compassion even though others will say, “give yourself a break”. When we feel guilty and pass judgement on ourselves how are we ever going to be able to let someone else make a wrong move?
It is scary to face your demons, but once you do the only thing that happens is you actually gain control. When you don’t look at something it has the power. As you see I haven’t written in the journal yet because the journal is a safe spot. This is a great place to bring your demons out and create an image that you can hold at arms length. It won’t hurt you once you get it out.
This brings a great Buff the Vampire Slayer episode to mind. The gang was rushing against the clock because a horrible demon was going to be summoned from an evil book. They got the book just as the demon was entering this world – everyone is terrified at this point. Until the demon materializes and it’s only a few inches tall, Buffy steps on it, and episode ends with giggles.
There will be residue from old wounds and some weary pain that comes along with your demon, but it is nothing like what our brain dreams up (we have such wild imaginations). It takes time, work, and forgiving yourself to start the healing process, but it will feel so much lighter.
What haunts us? Odds are we all share some baggage which is why we can walk together down this path stepping on 3 inch tall demons.