I am not minimizing the agonizing diagnosis of schizophrenia but I am saying is that no one tell you about all the voices in our head and which ones to listen to. Essentially we all have a society built case of schizophrenia. We are taught to turn our backs on those authentic parts of us in order to follow our family/tribe/mediocre society.
We get jammed into a box listening to our parts all talking at once. What should we do, which way do I go, what should I say, did we just say that?!!?
I spent 40 years trying to be comfortable in the mold of the “good” girl, the quiet one, the model this & that, to stay in boundaries that weren’t mine. Then everything I tried to build around me started to come crashing down. At the time it was a crisis, now I see it was the best thing that happened because I was forced to reevaluate & rebuild my self to my own blue prints.
We start that process by identifying all the different parts of us and weeding out the ones that have been programmed for us. We honor our authentic rebel parts so they grow in confidence. The parts that are scared and hurt need our love and compassion.
How? Well, this takes a lifetime (maybe more) but this is what I do:
Get quiet and listen.
Choose what you want to believe
Make a collage of all your parts. Include the good, bad, & ugly. You can’t be real with yourself without getting dirty. I have face some really icky parts of myself and if I’m honest and compassionate with myself it’s not so horrible. It just is. It’s already who we are and ignoring that isn’t going to make it go away.
Getting real takes courage and time. Take baby steps so you don’t become overwhelmed. I’ve spent the last 10 years identifying different parts and I’m not done yet. It gets easier but I probably won’t get done in this life. That’s ok with me – I’m who I am right now and I’m doing the best I can. There will be those who accept that and those who will never stop trying to jam me in their box of issues. Not my monkeys, not my circus.