Ready? Ok, here it is – get to know it and understand how it was born. The way I process information is that I have to fully understand something and once I “get it” I can deal with it. I find myself asking questions A LOT. Being an only child it was common for me to “talk” with myself while I was growing up so it feels ok for me to talk with my parts.
What I wrote – I called out my demons and they came trying to be all scary. It was hard admitting I have flaws and weirdness but not so hard that I couldn’t handle it. I still deal with being “lazy” – but am I really? I am getting better at know that I am enough – know it with my soul. My voice is getting stronger and the butterflies I get when I stand my ground don’t get as excited now.
I still practice know that I am enough and I always will in this life (it’s a soul level lesson for me to process in this lifetime). At the core of my inner critic is someone who never got past their childhood trauma and this “I’m not enough” was passed onto me. Now that I understand it came from truama and deep hurt, I am able to be compassionate toward that person and my own inner critic.
You calm your inner critic and all the other scary parts of you with understanding and compassion. They come from hurt and fear and want to protect us from further hurt. My inner little guy doesn’t want me to try something new because we might get our feelings hurt. He wants me to keep busy because just being scares him. Now that I show him love, the frantic fear is less and my butterflies don’t get as excited.
Try writing all your fears and perceived flaws in a continuous “spilling” on a page. Then paint over it. Write or collage positive affirmations on top. Even if it hurts, spend time listening to your inner critic with an open mind and full heart. It needs love to cure the fear. For you who suffer with perfectionism – it’s an overly active and deeply hurt part of you that has you parallelized so you don’t get hurt further.