It’s time for me to follow my own advice. I’m totally out of energy and have been for awhile. I’m burnt out but there is so much I “should” do so I bypass my needs to get things done. This habit of mine is a hard one to break because it stems from my big deep down shadow of not being enough. I need to prove, all the time, that I’m contributing to others. If other people depend on me then I’ll be good enough – and that is a lie that was built as a defense mechanism. It was a tool I used to make me feel better about myself.
We all have our own handmade tools we use to make sense of our world. The only damaging thing about that is we made them when we were little kids. We didn’t have enough wisdom to know that the people that helped us build these coping tools were teaching us out of their pain.
We make tool from our pain because of the fears of others. What is the opposite of love, not hate, but fear. If there is fear in our lives then it leaves less room for love.
If we make it our mission to understand our deep down stuff and love ourselves in spite of our fear – we understand how to love others more authentically. It is as simple as learn to love yourself in what ever way feels good to you. Less fear = more love and more abundant love.
In honor of learning to love myself more than the “I shoulds” in my life, I’m going to take time away from a lot of social media. I love my blogs, Instagram, Face Book, but the reality is that I am easily distractable and need to focus on one thing right now.
My creative discovery packets I’ve been doing are asking to be a book. I have always had a secret desire to write a book and knew that some day the topic would present itself. Using art as a tool clicked with me and it has grown stronger. It is ready to come into the world to first help me and then others who need it.
I will still be posting on occasion when I get the nudge but it won’t be on a regular basis. I have enough energy to focus on this book for right now. If I am writing a message of pausing life, I better do it myself.
Love to you all and see you soon! Cathy