Practicing self-love and Boundaries with Social Media

We’re all burnt out right now with the chaos of the world and it’s time for personal boundaries limiting our input of news. One of the most stressful aspects of human nature is the feeling of loosing control and helplessness. I will say that’s especially true for empaths and those who are sensitive. We feel the hurt around us and our instinct is to help and fix. We are big picture thinkers so we take in the whole situation and focus on “helping” too many. This leads to the helplessness because there is no way we can do what our tender hearts want to do. Then comes the loop of wanting to know what’s going on, wanting to fix the injustices, then by not having an avenue to help everyone we get stressed/frustrated/helpless. If we have weak boundaries (being a people pleaser), there’s a good chance we will seek out others to help before we help ourselves.

What we can do is to understand we can’t change much except ourselves – even in these really crazy f*uped days of global unrest. Technology is great but it overwhelms our energy systems to be a part of everything going on. My brain tells me that I need to know what’s going on or I will be an irresponsible citizen. The truth is that if I don’t monitor myself then I will become an irresponsible human because I’ve made myself crazy with frustration.

The only responsibility we can fulfill is to ourselves and to our self-care. It has become crystal clear that trying to force people to see your point of view is futile (some on this planet like being in a hive with other Borgs). It’s our attachment to being right that creates the feeling of hopelessness when we try to “save” others.

The Goddess uses times of stress to retreat, rest, and recharge. She looks at how she reacts to outside demands on her heart and energy. Knowing her reactions come from what she has been taught and not true to her inner wisdom helps to calm her. Attending to her needs first creates authentic boundaries and that is the gift she can give others. As the Goddess reflects and “fixes” herself, that energy flows from her and is the most effective way to model healing.

A Goddess is the example of self love and compassion which sends ripples out to places she will never be aware of. Healing yourself is the best thing you can do for our society right now.

Your visual journal is the key component to identifying your triggers as you add images and your reflections. This is the place you can ask the hard questions because you are practicing self compassion and this is your safe space. Be the healer you want to be with yourself first and then let people see your authenticity to plant the seeds of love in their lives.

Journaling with Goddess

Rest & Recharge with Goddess

The first facet of Goddess to sink into is Rest & Recharge. What does this mean to you personally? How do you rest? Do you feel guilty resting? Take a few deep breaths and turn your attention inward. Picture yourself when you are at home alone. There’s no one to cater to right now except yourself. What do you do? Where are your thoughts? Are you comfortable taking lavish care of yourself?

Use a notebook as a visual journal

The journal you pick as your visual journal does make a difference in how you relate to it. Using an expensive journal will bring a desire to make sure it’s pretty and consequentially it will be left on a shelf. Having compassion with your creative expressions is key to using a journal. Our society places more value in superficial beauty so we are programmed to make beautiful things. A visual journal does not have the focus of being pretty all the time. It is a snap shot of who we are in that moment. A Goddess knows she is all things and honors who she is at any point in time.

Getting a cheap composition notebook is a perfect start for a visual journal. It isn’t something you can “mess up”. Your journal isn’t something you can mess up because it’s a place for you to be authentic.

Soothing the inner critic

Use images by drawing or collage. Symbols with the way we connect with our inner wisdom. We can connect to an image and get deep understanding even without words.

Do not be disturbed

Hand writing out your thoughts is a meditative practice. The repetitive hand motions help to sooth anxiety as you write and your thoughts become more focused. We need an outlet to get the shit in our heads and nervous system out and journaling is one of the best ways to do that. Your container is your journal for your conversation with your inner wisdom through Your Inner Art.

Journaling does not mean writing pages and pages for hours at a time. Let go of your expectations. Consistent time in your journal will help to process your thoughts. You don’t have to complete a whole page in one sitting. Pick one thing to journal about and take a few minutes here and there to write your thoughts. Doodle while you think and add single words that hold meaning to you. Glue a couple pictures on a page while your watching tv.

Think SIMPLE and have it handy when you need it.

Emotional Processing When Your Life an Unexpected Hard Turn. . . Part 2

There are times in our lives when we feel ripped out of a situation. Here are some ways to balance your thoughts and get back to you.

If you’ve read Part 1 then you know journaling is a great start to sorting out all the feelings inside you as you try to shift your ability to cope with being yanked from what you knew as your life circumstances. I keep several things in mind when I am facing a traumatic change in my life:

1) The emotions & feelings will pass as I process the situation

2) There are 3 ways to create your narrative about the situation. I am to blame, “they” are to blame, and using only actions as the facts.

3) I am careful to use compassionate self talk so the guilt & shame don’t become too much.

4) What lesson can I learn from this? Everything in this life can be used as a learning tool to get to know yourself better.

 

Get out your journal again cuz we’re going to explore our current feelings and then how we want to feel. What did you see in your pages about how you were feeling?

  • Write down the feelings that came up during journaling.
  • Journal about each one and why you are feelings this way.
  • Describe situations from your past (especially during childhood) when you felt like this.
  • Go deep into the muck of your past to bring out these ghosts that have been haunting you. If this is the first time you’ve really explored your past as it connects to your emotional reactions now, it’s going to be a job. It takes time to filter your emotional responses through your childhood experiences but it’s great to be able to understand why something can trigger such a gut reaction.
  • Now write down how you want to feel. Here’s your roadmap to healing.
  • List what you need in order to feel the way you want to.

 

I have made pages and pages in my journals, art journals, and altered books that have helped me discover what situations trigger the way down deep emotional responses, where they originated, and how I want to feel now. I try to stick with 5 of my “Core Desired Feelings”. I learned this from Daniele LaPorte and her book Desire Map. I found it an amazing tool in my own life. It’s how I make goals – “how do I feel and how do I want to feel?”

As you start exploring the situation from different angles, you will be able to start untying the emotional tethers that have you reliving the event over and over. The pain recedes as you move away from the situation and time does help in adjusting to any new normal in your life now. That’s why I remind myself I won’t feel like crap forever and that helps me quite a bit. I will admit I take pleasure in imagining different ways the situation could’ve happened or how other’s will also be suffering. I do limit the darker fantasies, but we are all human and I don’t deny myself some mental aspects of getting even. As soon as you can, don’t have any contact with the people or situation. This helps if you don’t have to reenter where the hurt took place.

If you have any difficulty getting past anything, go to a counselor! I’ve gone to several and they always have helped with knowing I’m normal. It is really good to have someone you can talk to without any judgement.

Perception in 3 ways and where to put the “blame”

I usually find myself switching between, it’s my fault or it’s “their” fault. These are two more journaling ideas for you. Explore why you think you could have been the reason for the change and really look at it. Are some responses/feelings repeating themselves? Look at it objectively to see if some of your responses are just in your head. We humans are great at seeing the world through our perception which may not be entirely truth. Now write about why it was someone/somethings fault. The catch with trying to “see” through an other’s eyes is that we can’t. We will never be able to truly understand how other’s see a situation because we have not lived their life. That seems like an obvious statement, but I will try to understand someone’s thinking and there isn’t any way I can do that accurately.

The biggest obstacle for me is not being able to understand where other people are coming from or the”why” behind their actions.   I am finally starting to understand this and I work to be ok with not knowing.

With the situation that just happened to me, I looked at just the actions that took place & not the reasoning behind them. This helps to take emotions out of the equation and get the “facts”. This helps you get an observers perspective and that may help to take the blame out.

 

As I journal, I doodle to clear my thoughts or to really think things through before I write them down. Coloring is useful to calm you down too.

To help you out, here’s a mini art journal for you to print and use. Do some coloring, doodles, and journaling.

free mini art journal with feelings

Part 3 will be taking action with each of our energetic system chakras.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Emotional Processing When Your Life an Unexpected Hard Turn. . . Part 1

There are times in our lives when we feel ripped out of a situation. Here are some ways to balance your thoughts and get back to you.

One way to see life is as though we are living out our story on the pages of a invisible book. Sometimes we are able to write our life the way we want it and plan the transitions into the next chapter. Then there are times when the pages we have written get ripped out and we are in a place we never saw coming.

When we are able to tie up a chapter like a nice neat package, we are emotionally ready to move on. If we are traumatically ejected from a situation, our emotions are left raw and dangling in the wind. Here is some ways I have processed all the pages that have been ripped from my book of life.

 

The question that confounds us all – Why? Get comfortable not having the answers.

This lesson has hit me full in the gut at the beginning of 2019. I am finding that facing my thoughts and feelings are helping me to learn more about myself and heal my parts that are bruised. It helps to see our experiences as teachable moments designed to get down deep into our psyche so we can love ourselves though the crap. My mantra is: This is a lesson I signed up for before I came to this lifetime. I am going to have a talk with my higher self so I can find out why I signed up for so many Master level classes!

With this experience, I did things differently, I went after the lesson I was learning and did everything I could to support my mind/body/spirit in clearing, learning, and moving on. My first obstacle was shock and the physical symptoms that hit me. When you experience any trauma, your first responsibility is treating yourself with compassion. I played a big part in my upheaval but I was more gentle with myself than in the past. Treat yourself as you would a treasured friend. Listen with love to your self talk, reasons, and fears.

 

write yourself a permission slip and give yourself space to heal

I call my anxiety my “big Whirl” because it feels like my guts are in a tornado. To help dissipate all this energy – get active! Start with a grounding ritual/activity like visualizing your energy going into the earth and receiving the calming energy back from the earth. Walking or any other exercise. It won’t go away until you are more removed emotionally from the situation, but it’s good to move so it doesn’t get stuck inside you. This isn’t a one time & done thing – you’ll have a lot of emotions and energy to move through you so keep moving. Dancing with loud music is one of my favorites.

After you recognize this feeling of anxiety inside you, get your journal out. No excuses with this! Start writing all about this situation. It doesn’t need to be anything but a stream of consciousness page. Just like chewing is a step in our digestive process, writing is a way to digest our experiences, thoughts, and beliefs. As you write, things become clear and more focused. It also helps to just get the words out of your head and onto paper. It’s like emptying the trash basket on your computer.

Go back over your writing, highlighting words and phrases that are repeated. These tend to be the real issues inside you that need to be healed. Look at your narrative: is it blaming yourself or others too much? If you feel like a victim there’s a chance you may not have the perspective it takes to understand the lesson as it pertains to you. Listing the facts of the situation will help with a more balanced understanding.

Use this time for some REAL self-care

As you are journaling and being compassionate with yourself, you may still feel icky. The physical ramifications of an unsettled situation are real. Make sure you are eating well and trying to rest. Trauma is trauma and it does require time and compassion.

This is just the start of the process so on the next blog, I will discuss how to look at the situation through the lens of your Chakra system and how everything relates. If you aren’t familiar with the Chakras, do some research and journal about them.

 

Creating Your Mental Happy Place for those with cancer

My Perfect Day

One of my go to mental strategies for coping with a chronic physical condition is crafting my mental happy place. The most important self-care tip I can give you is: doing your best to remain as positive as you can. This doesn’t mean faking it every day, this means doing the best you can on good days but also taking the time to acknowledge the emotional strain of the bad days. Focusing on all the things you love and what brings you joy is creating your mental happy place.

I had good, bad, and really bad days throughout treatment. On the really bad days, I took the day to really feel sorry for myself and sit with the grief. I acknowledged the shit I was going through so that I was able to feel the emotions and let them flow out of me. Of course, they didn’t all go away but the practice of being real with myself helped the negativity flow instead of getting stuck inside me. If I were to ignore the negative, it would stay in my body as stress. Stress causes the cortisol levels in my body to rise which creates more pain. If I just focused on the negative then that’s where I would stay.

This is a real self portrait sculpture I did. It is both positive and scary, just like my walk on the cancer path.

The lotus flower I made had writing on the petals of the positive wisdom I would gain from this experience. I aimed really high with the positive perspective so even if I didn’t reach it, I would still gain insights into the lesson I was learning about myself.

Creating Your Mental Happy Place

Start by listing things that make you happy. This can be a written list or a collage of all your favorite things.

Where would you go to take a self-care retreat if money was not an issue?

What brings joy to you?

What makes you feel nurtured and loved?

What food and drinks make you feel warm and cozy?

What helps to calm your inner child?

What kind of environment helps to heal your soul? (gardens, oceans, museums, woods, etc)

What would be a perfect day for you?

Create this on paper or in your journal, then create it in your mind. Work on every little detail you can think of and build your happy place mentally. Even thinking about what brings calm into your soul can actually bring calm to your soul.

Create the garden you want to walk through, or the dream house next to river. Sit on the porch by the ocean looking out on the dunes. Meditate in the mountains of Tibet and build the shrine you want to look at.

 

Your perception and mental state is huge in your healing process. It is huge in your life – period. Your perception and focus will lead you in your life and now is the time for honest self-care and changing your mental attitude may be a part of that.

 

 

What??!? I have Cancer??!!?

I still remember that evening I went in for an MRI to investigate weird nerve pain and was walked over to the emergency room for further testing. The minute the radiologist said, “We found something and called in the neurosurgeon” I knew that I had cancer.

in the room (1 of 1) After many tests and more scans, I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma with a tumor in a vertebra. I learned quickly that you get ushered into the fast pace environment of tests, appointments, needles, and treatment. I felt like I didn’t even have a chance to take a breath before I was making some pretty big decisions.

The cancer world felt like a whirlwind around me. Everything was happening so fast that I couldn’t process it.

That’s when I turned to my art. I have used art to relax and perk me up my whole life. I didn’t realize just how important my personal art journal would become on this path. I also had the synchronicity of returning to college for art therapy and was half way through my degree.

My self care through my art and learning about the therapeutic aspects of expressive art helped to keep me in a positive mindset through my treatment and stem cell transplant.

Altered BookI’m going back to those days to share with you different projects, art journal pages, and altered book pages that really helped me to express my experience so you can develop your own personal art practice with a visual journal.

The reason art is so important for self expression is for you to get your feelings out. I did not want to keep the extreme emotions I had inside so that they festered. This is a scary experience but if you can face those fears and emotions they will loose their tight grip.

This journey is not easy at all but with art and a journal you will be able to face it with more clarity and more positivity.

If you’d like to follow me on my Facebook page, Your Inner Art where I post my personal art and give encouragement come on over!

I have published the “Creatively Through Cancer Workbook” on Amazon if you’d like an easy way to get started. I also have a Face Book Group, Get Creative with Cathy to accompany the workbook with discussions and help with your projects.

Get Creative with Nausea! Self Care When You aren’t Feeling Well.

I had a “touch” of stomach flu or something last week and being nauseous reminded me of my chemo treatments and stem cell transplant. I found that getting my mind on something else was the key to “forgetting” I was sick. The BEST way I know how to get my mind on something interesting is to get creative!

Here’s a page from my personal art/visual journal and it shows my doodling with a purpose. Doodling or painting in a journal really does help to relax your body and takes your mind off your physical body. As you play on the page, think about what you need to feel nurtured and cared for. After you’re done playing with colors, you can journal about what you need.

This exercise in creative play helps keep you more positive and focused on what care you need so the feeling of helplessness isn’t in the forefront of your day.

While you are getting treatment for cancer, pouring out your emotions onto your journal page is especially essential so you can focus on what you need for self care. While I was receiving my treatment, I did so much just so I felt nurtured while there was a war going on inside my body.

If you don’t have enough strength for playing in your journal (sometimes you won’t), looking at beautiful images does help as well. Nature magazines or Pintrest are a great resource for beauty of all kinds.

 

If you want even more creative help for those times during treatment, you can order my workbook through Amazon. You use the pages in the workbook to play in. There are directions for doodles, doodling with color, collage, meditation, and self care tips are just some of the chapters in the book. You will need scissors, a glue stick, pen, and something to color with to use with the workbook. It is easy to follow the directions and has already helped people to process this experience. Creative expression is a great life long tool for moving through this life.

Be Kind to Your Art, Be Kind to Yourself

Personal Art is stuff you make for yourself, be it an altered book, art journal, a quilt, a knitted sweater, collaging a treasure box, or anything else. You are making yourself a gift and you can practice compassion throughout the process.

Here’s how to practice self-compassion while making personal art:

  1. Practice laying down your thoughts of perfection, “should’s”, and expectations. This does take a lot of practice so shift your thoughts away from the automatic judgement (or inner critic) that slips in so easily.
  2. Remember you ARE creative because you ARE creating something – period. Personal art is not “fine” art to be sold at a gallery. Personal art is purely for your personal use to find your personal style. If you find yourself getting too caught up in what your inner critic is saying, do your art anyway. Work for 5 mins and then notice something that you like about what you just made, repeat.
  3. Your art comes from your soul/spirit/inner wisdom. There is beauty inside you that wants to come out to play. Your creative style is your inner language. It communicates what you really love (colors, shapes, symbols, etc). Dive into the beauty that you love and find what brings you joy! It may be all things red or the texture of moss or glitter on everything. Whatever makes your heart lighter and sparks your imagination – that is the alphabet your inner muse uses to talk with you.
  4. Your Inner Critic repeats programming from childhood. The voice in your head that tells you to stay safe by not trying or criticizes anything new is trying to keep you safe inside your comfort zone. Your comfort zone has rules that make you feel comfortable because that’s what you have learned. Somewhere you got the message that your art (or you) were not what other’s expected and you received that message as, I’m not good so what I do is not good enough. Your inner critic tries to keep you in a place that you feel you are good because trying something new will bring condemnation and judgement. Your inner critic is a tape recorder that is set on repeat and IT IS NOT REAL.
  5. It is safe for you to make art. Nothing bad will happen if you try to doodle or paint or make a necklace! If you don’t like it, start over. It’s that simple.
  6. Making personal art will take practice. You will make crappy art and it doesn’t hurt you or cause a catastrophe. You are not a fake if you make ugly art. Your first attempts in any artistic medium will look like a kindergartner did it and that is because you start out as a kindergartner. As you practice your personal art, it will get prettier and your style will change along the way. It’s a journey of exploration and you don’t see very far ahead in this process. Keep remembering you will get “better” at making stuff so keep trying! Your creative ability gets stronger pretty fast if you keep with it!
  7. Here’s what the creative process looks like: try something (anything), look at it, change what you don’t like, and keep the parts you do like.
  8. You learn as you make stuff you don’t like. It’s just as important to know what you don’t like as it is to know what you like. Trying several colors together might turn out in a way you like or it won’t. You will know that for the next project.
  9. Use colors, pictures, and shapes that are beautiful to you. Just like putting on your favorite perfume or lighting your favorite candle brings peace and elevates your mood, using visual things that make you feel that way does the same thing. Self compassion and self care is the act of lifting your mood. There is no better way to lift your mood than to collage a bunch of beautiful images that make you feel good.
  10. Spending time making art is spending time with the most important person in your life – YOU! Doodling or finger painting in your visual journal carves out time for you to”just be” and to practice “being in the moment”. I consider it active meditation. You will have the space to think and to ask yourself, “how are you”, “what am I feeling right now”, “what is it that I really like”? Self care is knowing what you are feeling and how you want to feel so you can get more of what makes you happy.

With personal art and a visual journal you can get clear on how you are feeling and how you want to feel.

Come along with my weekly blog to get started with a creative journey that will comfort and uplift you by following me and get notified in your email when my blog posts. Click the “Follow Me” button on the side bar.

You can follow me on FaceBook by liking my Your Inner Art page.

Join my community of personal art makers and join in the conversation, projects, and posts in my FaceBook group Get Creative with Cathy. Ask to join and get creative!

Not Creative? Think Personal Art not Fine Art!

 

If I had a dime each time someone has told me, “I’m not creative” I would be a billionaire!! When I hear this it sounds like a challenge to me. I would love to help everyone who says they aren’t creative, see that they are. It is my greatest joy to lead a group of women with a project and see the light bulbs go on in their head that triggers a huge smile.

The experience I have had for teaching various creative classes is that EVERYONE can create. We can all make our personal art using any tools/supplies. We were created and we have the ability to re-create in our DNA. It’s in us – period!

The ability to take that step into making personal art starts in your thoughts. When the word art or creative comes up, usually a painting done by a master pops into someone’s head. We have been taught/programmed to think that a painting or sculpture done by Michelangelo is the reference for our creative projects.

 

This is “fine” art. I painted this in one of my college painting classes. I worked very hard, long hours making it look like a realistic scene. This was technique driven, hard, frustrating, and sometimes just not fun to do. Fine art is: technique and striving for perfection so it can be sold in the public.

This is what someone might consider to be the only form of creativity. Practicing fine art is definitely not for everyone and supporting yourself making art is another level that most people will not find themselves doing.

 

This is an example of “personal” art. I made this collage to express the different faces/side of my personality. I wanted to explore different sides of me so I found faces that told the story of my inner world. Personal art is for: reflection, expression, relaxation, and the process of experimenting. It is used to tell a personal story and is usually not for public sale.

  • I believe that everyone can benefit doing personal art because it helps you create time to spend in communication with yourself. It is a part of my self-care and it has been invaluable in my life to help me process difficult situations.
  • Having a journal to write in and a visual journal to create in will help with your well being and will cultivate a deeper trust in yourself.
  • Getting to know and understand your inner world through a visual journal will help you to love yourself through loving what you create.

This blog will be focusing on how to use different art supplies in your visual journal. Each month I will explain how to use a new supply and challenge you to use it on a page in a way that will encourage self reflection, self care, and self love.

Come along and explore your inner art and find your inner wisdom. Here are some links to past blog posts that you use to start creating today!

Visual Journaling 101

What is an art journal

I’m a beginner

You can follow me on Instagram at CathyjLawson

FaceBook at Your Inner Art

Sign up for my newsletter

 

Creatively Through Cancer

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Getting a diagnosis of some form of cancer is all too common in our society, but that does not make it any easier for anyone. Those with cancer and their support people need all the tools they can get to process all the emotions that come along with this disease. Creativity is one of those tools that can help in many ways while on this path.

Not only is there physical pain, discomfort, and exhaustion, but your emotional world has just as much of a battle ahead. Processing all the intense physical and emotional distress is imperative to your long term health. I know this because I’ve been there. My creativity helped me when I needed to relax, express intense emotions, and see the lessons of this journey.

My bio on my webpage talks about my being a returning collage student in Art Therapy when I was diagnosed. This gave me an intimate lesson in just how important personal art is in my life. I used hand building/sculpting clay vessels to relax and let my pain float to the background while my focus was on the project. Images of cancer looking cells made their way into my projects in ways I didn’t expect.

in the room (1 of 1)

Having the emotions flow out of me and into a creative project turned into a pivotal discovery for me and that was, “if my emotions are moving they won’t get stuck and ignored.”  Why is that so important? Fear starts to magnify if we don’t look at it, pain turns to another bitter form of cancer if we don’t understand it, and we may find it so much harder to pull ourselves out of anger if we do not find a channel for our emotions.

I now have a mission to help those with and those around cancer to have a creative outlet. On June 1, 2018 I will be publishing the Creatively Through Cancer Workbook! In the workbook you will find coloring pages, how to doodle, college projects, and other calming meditation practices to help get you through this intense time. I crafted the projects for those who may not consider themselves creative so no one will feel too intimidated and you DO NOT need to be an “artist” to use this workbook to process your feelings.

This workbook is not intended to make me rich, it is in existence to be a part of support for as many people as it’s able. Going through this I have a deep compassion for others with long term pain, illness, and cancer. We need a comfort during these times and your creative spirit will help. Please help me reach as many people as possible by sharing my blog and announcements with those you know.

I will be blogging about personal art and how it helps in times of stress for us as well as just having fun. Come along, all are welcome!!